Yeah. The title says so.
It's been three days since I last logged-in. And that's like FOREVER.
I never knew blogging COULD affect me much. Probably because I already established friendships because of this online journal. And probably because, I can easily say whatever I want here without being interrupted. If they do want to say something, well, the comment box is waiting for them.
I love the way I'm typing the words now. It's like my thoughts are automatically turned into words so that I can type it easily.
Gawd. See what happens when a break comes into your daily routine? I missed blogging! But what happened? Friends, it's all because of this:
1. Have to read the Gilgamesh (again!). T.T
2. Make a Christmas Tree for the RTAS (reanimating the ateneo spirit
char2x).
3. Write a Narrative about my boring life.
4. Research about damned Sumerians.
5. Make a chart for Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, and Mongolia.
6. Read 26 pages photocopy in International Political Econ.
7. Read Primary and Secondary Reflection for Philo.
8. Start soliciting for the Educational Trip this summer.
9. Recap Termination Treaty between Hungary and Czechoslovakia. (Grr..)
10. Write a hate mail for Scooby Doo. (Justify this: Previous meetings are all about THEORIES and SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT, then he suddenly and left a "seatwork" to be passed after class. The said seatwork is actually a case study that is 17 pages! LONG BOND PAPER! Grr...)
I have done at least half of the list. So I think it's time to get back from the dead zone. Hehe. And since I have been ABSENT for QUITE a long time, I would like to roll the VTR and flashback on the days gone by...^^
- We went at An's house last Friday for the Christmas Tree Making. C2 galore. An's parents were asking to rent me. I washed the dishes and the pans and the stove and EVERYTHING. Hahaha! I am soooooo good.^^ I do get industrious. ONCE IN A BLUE MOON.
- SSE Division Day this afternoon. I love the backdrop! *eherm* Because we were the ones who did it. Hahaha! Under the Sea theme for this sem. We had Fishes, Jellyfishes, Seahorses, an Octopus, Starfishes, Crabs and a TURTLE!
- Hanging out with Karla, Marj, Sam, Andrew, and Pansit.
- I broke a glass at Jeff2x. Have to pay 10php for that. *sniff*
- I'm sooooooo bad trip! I wanna run awaaaaaaay!
- Andrew "saving" the time with a SEVEN-UP game.
- I'm disappointed. Not even a happy game of KILLERS and a meal of burger steak could make me happy.
- I want to fade away.
And now I'm back!^^
I miss you Avy, Tina, Ate Ghee, Giovanne, Leah, Mr Talksmart (hahaha!) and everyone who, by some miracle of God, happen to drop by my miserable site. Nyahaha! My gedness. I hate the song playing in the radio. It is soooo obsolete. Probably 1950's or something. Shehehehet. If all songs would be like this, I would get rid of my eardrum as soon as possible.
----
WARNING: Emo Mode Coming!
Reflections for the day:
No Mister. You're wrong. I'm NOT predictable. You're only saying that because you never knew me. You NEVER knew me. Yeah I lied. I did lie. I do lie. And I'm lying. All the time. I am such a liar. You shouldn't believe me. Smiles and laughters and hyperactiveness and all this whatever-ness is a BIG, STUPID LIE.
I don't want to be a GIRLY girl. Because they are weak. So what if I act like I don't care about the male species? So what if I adore Eve's clan? Does that make me less of a girl? So what if I don't wear pink? So what if I don't know the "crucial moments"? SO WHAT!? Does that make me less? I'm starting to act like an Emo Freak. Who cares anyway? I never wonder why people questions it if I reacted on "small matters" like these. It is because I don't seem to care. Yes, I'm numb. That's because I want to. But you can never be strong all the time. I am also weak. Like you. Like all people. Even Adolf Hitler cries. And just because I am not USUALLY showing it doesn't mean I don't have the privelege of admitting it.
SEVEN PEOPLE. Yeah. There would be SEVEN PEOPLE I would love to meet in heaven. These seven are those who KNEW me. Three billion people, and only SEVEN who KNOW me. This is going to be one hard battle. The question is, would I want other people to KNOW me to? Probably yes. But time will come. Whether they are still with me when the time comes or not depends on them.
And here it goes. I don't know. Am I supposed to be glad? Probably yes. Other girls in my situation probably would. They would probably throw a big party and would offer up their bodies to the Lord of Sin. But I'm NOT ONE OF THEM! I'm not any other girl. I am DIFFERENT. And I feel betrayed. I don't think it's something to be proud of. I think it's a curse. But to think of it, IT does make me a girl. At least, in THAT way. But...
I hate it. If I would want to be remembered and liked, I want it to be because of me as a whole package. Not partially. I'm not even a piece of meat in a butcher shop at the first place. And I'm not a chicken sold at Maqs for you to pick what part you like better. I feel so useless. Gut feeling.
I am disappointed. Yes. And I'm bothered. This would not pass for a heartbreak. But why is it polluting my thoughts? I should not think of this. I should not think of this. I should NOT think of this.
I feel... so... empty...
I just want to fade away.
It's been three days since I last logged-in. And that's like FOREVER.
I never knew blogging COULD affect me much. Probably because I already established friendships because of this online journal. And probably because, I can easily say whatever I want here without being interrupted. If they do want to say something, well, the comment box is waiting for them.
I love the way I'm typing the words now. It's like my thoughts are automatically turned into words so that I can type it easily.
Gawd. See what happens when a break comes into your daily routine? I missed blogging! But what happened? Friends, it's all because of this:
1. Have to read the Gilgamesh (again!). T.T
2. Make a Christmas Tree for the RTAS (reanimating the ateneo spirit
char2x).
3. Write a Narrative about my boring life.
4. Research about damned Sumerians.
5. Make a chart for Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, and Mongolia.
6. Read 26 pages photocopy in International Political Econ.
7. Read Primary and Secondary Reflection for Philo.
8. Start soliciting for the Educational Trip this summer.
9. Recap Termination Treaty between Hungary and Czechoslovakia. (Grr..)
10. Write a hate mail for Scooby Doo. (Justify this: Previous meetings are all about THEORIES and SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT, then he suddenly and left a "seatwork" to be passed after class. The said seatwork is actually a case study that is 17 pages! LONG BOND PAPER! Grr...)
I have done at least half of the list. So I think it's time to get back from the dead zone. Hehe. And since I have been ABSENT for QUITE a long time, I would like to roll the VTR and flashback on the days gone by...^^
- We went at An's house last Friday for the Christmas Tree Making. C2 galore. An's parents were asking to rent me. I washed the dishes and the pans and the stove and EVERYTHING. Hahaha! I am soooooo good.^^ I do get industrious. ONCE IN A BLUE MOON.
- SSE Division Day this afternoon. I love the backdrop! *eherm* Because we were the ones who did it. Hahaha! Under the Sea theme for this sem. We had Fishes, Jellyfishes, Seahorses, an Octopus, Starfishes, Crabs and a TURTLE!
- Hanging out with Karla, Marj, Sam, Andrew, and Pansit.
- I broke a glass at Jeff2x. Have to pay 10php for that. *sniff*
- I'm sooooooo bad trip! I wanna run awaaaaaaay!
- Andrew "saving" the time with a SEVEN-UP game.
- I'm disappointed. Not even a happy game of KILLERS and a meal of burger steak could make me happy.
- I want to fade away.
And now I'm back!^^
I miss you Avy, Tina, Ate Ghee, Giovanne, Leah, Mr Talksmart (hahaha!) and everyone who, by some miracle of God, happen to drop by my miserable site. Nyahaha! My gedness. I hate the song playing in the radio. It is soooo obsolete. Probably 1950's or something. Shehehehet. If all songs would be like this, I would get rid of my eardrum as soon as possible.
----
WARNING: Emo Mode Coming!
Reflections for the day:
No Mister. You're wrong. I'm NOT predictable. You're only saying that because you never knew me. You NEVER knew me. Yeah I lied. I did lie. I do lie. And I'm lying. All the time. I am such a liar. You shouldn't believe me. Smiles and laughters and hyperactiveness and all this whatever-ness is a BIG, STUPID LIE.
I don't want to be a GIRLY girl. Because they are weak. So what if I act like I don't care about the male species? So what if I adore Eve's clan? Does that make me less of a girl? So what if I don't wear pink? So what if I don't know the "crucial moments"? SO WHAT!? Does that make me less? I'm starting to act like an Emo Freak. Who cares anyway? I never wonder why people questions it if I reacted on "small matters" like these. It is because I don't seem to care. Yes, I'm numb. That's because I want to. But you can never be strong all the time. I am also weak. Like you. Like all people. Even Adolf Hitler cries. And just because I am not USUALLY showing it doesn't mean I don't have the privelege of admitting it.
SEVEN PEOPLE. Yeah. There would be SEVEN PEOPLE I would love to meet in heaven. These seven are those who KNEW me. Three billion people, and only SEVEN who KNOW me. This is going to be one hard battle. The question is, would I want other people to KNOW me to? Probably yes. But time will come. Whether they are still with me when the time comes or not depends on them.
And here it goes. I don't know. Am I supposed to be glad? Probably yes. Other girls in my situation probably would. They would probably throw a big party and would offer up their bodies to the Lord of Sin. But I'm NOT ONE OF THEM! I'm not any other girl. I am DIFFERENT. And I feel betrayed. I don't think it's something to be proud of. I think it's a curse. But to think of it, IT does make me a girl. At least, in THAT way. But...
I hate it. If I would want to be remembered and liked, I want it to be because of me as a whole package. Not partially. I'm not even a piece of meat in a butcher shop at the first place. And I'm not a chicken sold at Maqs for you to pick what part you like better. I feel so useless. Gut feeling.
I am disappointed. Yes. And I'm bothered. This would not pass for a heartbreak. But why is it polluting my thoughts? I should not think of this. I should not think of this. I should NOT think of this.
I feel... so... empty...
I just want to fade away.
3 comments:
Miss you too! :)
I wonder who that mister is. Anyway.. i like this part..
"I hate it. If I would want to be remembered and liked, I want it to be because of me as a whole package. Not partially."
Take care and Cheer up! :) *HUGS*
Waw. Good writer. You should consider becoming an English major, if ever this I.S. thing fails you. Grammar could use some polishing though. Slight lang naman, nothing too disturbing. Over-all, you're good.
Oh, by the way, you don't know me. I don't know you. We just share the same uniform.
Hahaha! Char.^^
Anonymous pa talaga. tsk.^^
Hmm..? We share the same MAID's uniform. Hehe.
Diba? AdDu uniform is medyo pang-katulong ang dating daw. hehe.
I dunno. Ok naman siya. Makaasar lang kasi madali madumihan.^^
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