Yadda-yadda. My brain is temporarily fogged and I'm not in the mood to write. But since I need to update my blogger, I copied and pasted this from my Theology reaction paper. The post may seem too pro-marriage and sacrosanct; but it isn't. (It's a Theo paper. Bear with me) It's a rant, anyway. And that means, you can rant back. Cheers to opinions. :)
Infidelity is an issue too common to be side-swept even in a relatively liberal country like the United States of America, more so in a comparatively conservative nation like the Philippines. The movie Unfaithful talks about infidelity in an otherwise perfect marriage. Contrary to the usual scene of a man having illicit affairs with other women, the tables had turned and the movie tells a story of a woman who had been unfaithful to her husband. This change of situation created a ruckus in the mainstream movie industry; thus, catapulting the movie into the box-office charts.
Even if the context is on liberal USA, the situation of a woman sneaking up against her husband is deemed antagonistic in nature. Through a feminist lens, we see that people, even in liberal countries, make it to a point that any infidelity centered on the work of a woman is worse than that of a man’s. If the United States finds this situation tricky and insulting, how much more would it be if put into the Philippine context?
As stated on Article 97, Title IV on Legal Separation of Republic Act 386, otherwise known as An Act to Ordain and Institute the Civil Code of the Philippines, any woman who is suspected, accused, or proven of sleeping with another man aside from her husband, is committing the act of adultery. Whereas, if a man, even if he is having affairs or is financially-supporting a mistress, is not to be accused of adultery, but of concubinage, if and only if, he is proven to cohabitate with the said other woman. This law in itself shows the inequity and unfairness in disseminating justice as opposed to gender diversity, may it be moral or otherwise.
I do not concede with the notion of infidelity. I believe that it is immoral, by virtue of the Church. However, the fact that society oftentimes expands the whole issue through feminization of sins makes the law of the state and the virtue of the Church run on great risk. The usual situation goes like this: if a woman gets involved in illicit affairs, she is antagonized on two levels. One, by the society, as society has this stereotype of a “bad woman” as someone who doesn’t get contented with her life and her loving husband that’s why she goes out with other men. Society takes it as a big blow on a man’s pride if his wife is unfaithful to him. Two, the woman is alienated by the law as law provides mere suspicion as a premise of an argument for adultery. On the other side of the coin, affairs by men aren’t considered out of the norms as it usually adds up to the machismo of every male being.
In this alone, you see the discrimination given to women. I do not say that women should commit adultery as men are subconsciously permitted by law and society to do such. What I want to happen, is for BOTH men and women to keep from committing adultery. Providing equity for both sexes does not require raising the bar of expected aggravation to the same level, but rather putting down an established domineering control over the other gender.
In the movie, it came into my thinking that divorce, or annulment (in the Philippine context) would have been a better way for the husband to deal with the situation rather than kill his wife’s lover. At least, divorce is by far of less weight than homicide. Yes, I do know that divorce is not allowed in the Church. But so does infidelity.
Which begs the question, why is there a need for divorce and annulment if infidelity is non-existent? I believe that before people start weighing the pros and cons of nullifying the virtue and sacrament of marriage through annulment, they should at least be sure that they are free of infidelity.
Infidelity is something that does not exist in a vacuum. It should not take its form depending on race, gender, or age. Infidelity demands justice. Justice that is to be served regardless of any categorization. After all, marriage is sacred. It should not be tampered or tarnished on its stages, may it be early or late. It should not be tampered at all.
---
Gawd. I can be too saintly if I want to. Haha! Anyway, the semester is over so I think it would be safe to say that I do not really believe in the notion of marriage. Ahaha! I do not see myself happily married someday. I wonder why people see marriage as a be-all-and-all concept. It's as if ending up as a spinster is the worst thing there is. Mygedness. Swim against the 'effing traditionalist current, losers.
Infidelity is an issue too common to be side-swept even in a relatively liberal country like the United States of America, more so in a comparatively conservative nation like the Philippines. The movie Unfaithful talks about infidelity in an otherwise perfect marriage. Contrary to the usual scene of a man having illicit affairs with other women, the tables had turned and the movie tells a story of a woman who had been unfaithful to her husband. This change of situation created a ruckus in the mainstream movie industry; thus, catapulting the movie into the box-office charts.
Even if the context is on liberal USA, the situation of a woman sneaking up against her husband is deemed antagonistic in nature. Through a feminist lens, we see that people, even in liberal countries, make it to a point that any infidelity centered on the work of a woman is worse than that of a man’s. If the United States finds this situation tricky and insulting, how much more would it be if put into the Philippine context?
As stated on Article 97, Title IV on Legal Separation of Republic Act 386, otherwise known as An Act to Ordain and Institute the Civil Code of the Philippines, any woman who is suspected, accused, or proven of sleeping with another man aside from her husband, is committing the act of adultery. Whereas, if a man, even if he is having affairs or is financially-supporting a mistress, is not to be accused of adultery, but of concubinage, if and only if, he is proven to cohabitate with the said other woman. This law in itself shows the inequity and unfairness in disseminating justice as opposed to gender diversity, may it be moral or otherwise.
I do not concede with the notion of infidelity. I believe that it is immoral, by virtue of the Church. However, the fact that society oftentimes expands the whole issue through feminization of sins makes the law of the state and the virtue of the Church run on great risk. The usual situation goes like this: if a woman gets involved in illicit affairs, she is antagonized on two levels. One, by the society, as society has this stereotype of a “bad woman” as someone who doesn’t get contented with her life and her loving husband that’s why she goes out with other men. Society takes it as a big blow on a man’s pride if his wife is unfaithful to him. Two, the woman is alienated by the law as law provides mere suspicion as a premise of an argument for adultery. On the other side of the coin, affairs by men aren’t considered out of the norms as it usually adds up to the machismo of every male being.
In this alone, you see the discrimination given to women. I do not say that women should commit adultery as men are subconsciously permitted by law and society to do such. What I want to happen, is for BOTH men and women to keep from committing adultery. Providing equity for both sexes does not require raising the bar of expected aggravation to the same level, but rather putting down an established domineering control over the other gender.
In the movie, it came into my thinking that divorce, or annulment (in the Philippine context) would have been a better way for the husband to deal with the situation rather than kill his wife’s lover. At least, divorce is by far of less weight than homicide. Yes, I do know that divorce is not allowed in the Church. But so does infidelity.
Which begs the question, why is there a need for divorce and annulment if infidelity is non-existent? I believe that before people start weighing the pros and cons of nullifying the virtue and sacrament of marriage through annulment, they should at least be sure that they are free of infidelity.
Infidelity is something that does not exist in a vacuum. It should not take its form depending on race, gender, or age. Infidelity demands justice. Justice that is to be served regardless of any categorization. After all, marriage is sacred. It should not be tampered or tarnished on its stages, may it be early or late. It should not be tampered at all.
---
Gawd. I can be too saintly if I want to. Haha! Anyway, the semester is over so I think it would be safe to say that I do not really believe in the notion of marriage. Ahaha! I do not see myself happily married someday. I wonder why people see marriage as a be-all-and-all concept. It's as if ending up as a spinster is the worst thing there is. Mygedness. Swim against the 'effing traditionalist current, losers.
5 comments:
Lol, nice rant. It's true though, by, I guess society, woman defiling marriage seems to have a stronger impact on some people's eyes. Though it's still wrong I don't think it's so much of the actual gender but that as woman were seem to be classy at some point throughout time and therefore seeing them degrade this low still has a diff. perspective that if a guy was doing it. Morally I do think it's wrong, but I think that's where it comes from.
Lol, I was amused at your use of the word "justice". I was playing Apollo Justice otherwise known as Phoenix Wright 4, and it just made me giggle, since I'm all for the justice, sadly justice doesn't always take it's right turn. So I guess my justice is different.
I don't like the idea of marriage so much, and not because I'm Atheist but because I don't need anyone to tell me I'll love the woman I'm with 'til forever; I rather just show it, with evidence. (xD Too much Phoenix Wright)
hi! u don't have a cbox..so.. anyway, thanks for dropping by and hope to see u in school! ei m not just a suju fan.. basically everything related to kpop and twpop and a bit of jpop..
Epistaxis attack!!! Wow Bam, this reads more like a LitCrit paper than a Theo reflection paper. In any case, kudos on such a well thought-of rant. =)
Yeah, I agree: the double-standard that exists between men and women involved in similar cases of marital infidelity does not sit well with me at all. People think its pretty commonplace when a man takes in a mistress, but raise their eyebrows and wag their fingers at women who do the same thing.
In any case, I'm kinda on the same boat with Akitsugi. I respect the idea of marriage and eternal union and all, but it just isn't for me. Not that I'm chucking marriage for a life of unabashed infidelity; I just don't get why you have to have marriage in order to stay faithful and loyal. Right?
Okay, gotta go. Miss you Bam!
bamtot! u dont have a cbox here... u dont update this much na ha..sa multips na lang lagi... take care. miss yah.
tagged you bam :D (yeah yeah i know these analyses *analysises?* are pretty daunting but i've had hell weeks so i'll make it up to you with a sober comment next time) (^___^)
Post a Comment